Who Ate My Pocky!
by Dignified Madman
Summary: Hatsuharu has had a stressful day. All he wants to do is sit in his room with a box of Pockys, but his plans are ruined by his apologetic cousin Ritsu. RitsuxHaru. Cracky!


**Title:** Who Ate My Pocky?!  
**Fandom:** Fruits Basket  
**Author:** Dignified Madman  
**Pairing:** Ritsu/Hatsuharu  
**Rating:** Mature  
**Word count: **710  
**Summary: **Hatsuharu has had a stressful day. All he wants to do is sit in his room with a box of Pockys, but his plans are ruined by his apologetic cousin Ritsu.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya.

'What a stressful day,' Hatsuharu Sohma thought as he rubbed his eyes. He walked up the Sohma house walkway dragging his feet, 'I'm going to lock myself in my room with a box of Pocky and relax.'

Haru walked the final meter up to the door and let himself in. His feet directed him to the kitchen where his box of Pocky awaited consumption.

He opened the pantry door, his hand outstretched, anticipating the box. Instead of his hand connecting with smooth cardboard, it made contact with nothing. This had to be a mistake, his Pocky box was there in the morning. Maybe he left it on another shelf – _pokkin_. His ears perked up – _pokkin_. That familiar sound – _pokkin_ – was coming from the dining room.

Hatsuharu followed his ears, the sound leading his way. He slid the door open – _pokkin_ – there, his eyes made contact with a familiar womanly figure.

"Hello, Hatsuharu," said the cheerful voice of Ritsu Sohma. In his hand was the much anticipated box of Pocky. Hatsuharu's nostrils began to flare and the corner of his mouth began to twitch. "Would you like one?" He held the box out towards Haru.

"Are those _my_ Pocky?" Hatsuharu asked menacingly through gritted teeth.

"OH!" Ritsu said, looking flustered, "I'm ssooo SORRY! I had no idea these were yours! It's my fault! If I should have never got a snack! I'M SORRY!"

"Shut up!" Black Haru had arrived. "You know what I was going to do today?" He glared at Ritsu, burrowing into his soul. "I was going to go to my room, eat a box of Pocky, and masturbate. But I can't do that now can I?"

Ritsu flew to the floor and landed at Hatsuharu's feet. "I'm so SORRY! Here let me go to the store and pick you up another box. I'll even get you two boxes! I'M SORRY!"

"Shut up!" he snapped. "Now my day is ruined. So you know what? I'm going to take me sexual frustration out on your ass!"

"I'm sorry! Here take me right here," Ritsu said as he raised his rear up towards Hatsuharu.

"Not here dumbass," he hissed, slapping Ritsu on the back of the head.

"Ok, take me anywhere. It's the least I can do for eating your precious Pocky's!"

"I said 'shut up'!" Haru growled as he grabbed Ritsu by the back of his collar. He dragged his older cousin down the hall and into his room. Haru slammed the door behind him and continued to drag Ritsu towards the bed. He slammed Ritsu's face into the matteress. "Now shut up. I'm going to get ready. I don't want any of your blood on my cock."

Ritsu lifted his head off the mattress, "I'm sorry! I would never want to cause you the discomfort of having my blood on your cock!"

Hatsuharu slammed Ritsu's head back into the mattress, "Shut the fuck up! Now remove your skirt."

"Of course, Hatsuharu, I'll do that right away." Ritsu began to remove his skirt and undergarment.

Haru slammed open the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a bottle of lube. He applied it to himself and stood behind Ritsu.

"Is everything to your liking, Hatsuharu? Would you like me to do anything?"

"Just shut up!" he grunted as he shoved himself, up to the hilt, into Ritsu.

"Alright, I'll shut up now," Ritsu squeaked, his voice reaching octaves unknown even to him.

Haru grabbed Ritsu's hips to steady himself and began thrusting. His satisfaction grew with each stifled whimper from his cousin as he repeatedly slammed his cock in.

Haru's finger's tightened their grip as he began to reach his climax. His thrusts became harder and faster. With one final thrust, his tension and rage flowed out of him.

Hatsuharu collapsed onto Ritsu panting. He pushed himself back up again and surveyed the scene. He rubbed his eyes and let out a sigh, White Haru was back.

"Geeze, Ritsu, I'm really sorry. I guess I turned into Black Haru again," he said softly to his cousin.

"No, no, no, it's all my fault! I should have never indulged myself in a snack! I'll never do it again! I'M SO SORRY!"

"Shut the hell up!" Black Haru was back again.


End file.
